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Balls Keep Getting Bigger (11/13/2006)

released: Nov 13, 2006

description: The movie opens on a locker stuffed with sports paraphernalia, with a forgotten chemistry book at the bottom. The action cuts to a locker room, where the football team predicts that they will go all the way to state with Magurksi leading them. They just need to win their big game against Southport. Jones goes to Southport to taunt the entire school, but only ends up meeting Ricketts, who sullenly smokes a cigarette and asks to hear his story. Meanwhile, in a remedial Chemistry class, Mr. Pocius chastises the football players for their terrible grades. In the hallway outside, Magurski runs into the new girl, Laurel ''Lolly'' Collins, who is on her way to choir auditions. Despite some misunderstanding as to what and when one should sing, Magurski tells her that she should sing at the football games. At home, Magurski's self esteem takes a pummeling thanks to his father, who thinks he should be practicing ball and respecting his mother. His mother then receives a call from Dean Evans informing the family that Magurski needs to pass Chemistry in order to play the big game. Dean Evans says she will set Magurski up with a tutor. Back at the grounds of Southport, Ricketts and his girlfriend are cutting themselves and plotting to throw the game. Sneed the kicker comes to the shack to collect his blood money -- he will throw the game for $300. Sneed is desperate, as he needs the money to pay for minor surgery for his mother. The next day at school, Magurski runs into Lolly, who informs him that she is his assigned tutor for Chemistry. They begin their study sessions, wherein she teaches about the joy of chemistry and he opens up to her about his oppressive father. Magurksi exits the school, where he runs into his father. The elder Magurski tells his son that he needs to follow in his footsteps and become a lawyer. Magurski informs him that he is going to be a successful scientist and football player. His father is extremely disappointed, but Magurksi is determined to make his own destiny. In the locker room before the big game, everyone is incredibly nervous, particularly Sneed. When the coach comes in to fire the team up, Sneed passes out, and from his pocket falls an envelope bearing the seal of Southport High School and full of $300. Sneed confesses to attempting to fix the game to help his mother, and this inspires the team to fight harder and win the game. Meanwhile, in Southport's locker room, the team figures they have the game in the bag with Sneed's help. The score is 17-16 Southport when the teams return to the field. Southport thinks they have it in the bag, but are shocked when the play stops going according to plan. Cheered on by Lolly and his father, Magurksi scores the winning points and leads the team to victory. The movie ends as Magurksi is seen graduating first in his class, marrying Lolly, and finally placing his Nobel Prize next to his Heisman in his trophy case.

''Smells Like Teen Spirit'' Nirvana
''No Ordinary Love'' Sade
''Shiny Happy People'' REM
''Don't Stop Believin''' Journey
''We Got the Beat'' Go-Gos.

cast & crew:

Directed by . . . Mel Evans
Coach . . . Kristen Studard
Craig Magurski . . . Michael Johnson
Dean Evans . . . Kristen Studard
Jones . . . Jorin Garguilo
Laurel ''Lolly'' Collins . . . Kristen Studard
Lolly . . . Colleen Breen
Ma Magurski . . . Amy Verdon
Moose . . . Phillip Semon
Mr. Magurski . . . Rob White
Mr. Pocius . . . Sean Kelley
Mrs. Sneed . . . Jorin Garguilo
Ricketts . . . Rob White
Sneed the Kicker . . . Sean Kelley
Southport Panther #1 . . . Amy Verdon
Southport Panther #2 . . . Colleen Breen
Southport Panther #3 . . . Kristen Studard
Student with Cell Phone . . . Amy Verdon


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  • Director Jason R. Chin was absent for this show. Hot n Talented Mel Evans (wo)manned the booth and ran the soundtrack.
  • Each school featured in the movie (Shelton R Cornelia HS and Shelton R Southport HS) shares a name with streets near iO in the Wrigleyville neighborhood (Cornelia and Southport, respectively).

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