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Ducks on a Boat (01/16/2007)

released: Jan 16, 2007

description: At a typical county fair, a young boy practices a perfect shot at the ducks on a line game. Prizes accumulate around him, including stuffed animals and various 80's hair band paraphernalia. The action cuts to the CIA headquarters, and we see that this young boy is actually Abraham Washington Jr., head of the CIA. His agents Klaxon and Smitherston inform him that TERROR is still at large, despite their uncovering of TERROR's plan to spread hazardous poisons through fair prizes. The CIA agents take a video call from the President and Secretary of Defense, who reinforce the threat of TERROR. Meanwhile, in the hovering volcano that serves as TERROR's headquarters, King Terror shows his dismay at the henchman responsible for the flaw that allowed Abraham Washington Jr. to thwart his plan by sending said henchman straight to hell. King Terror moves on to his next world domination plan -- Svetlana suggests they take advantage of lukewarm popularity of the 80's hair band Poison and Petra recommends that they make their move when Poison plays at the Akron, Ohio county fair. Abraham Washington Jr. soon finds out about this plan and takes his dirt bike immediately to the Akron Fair, where he is soon met by Klaxon and Smitherston. They decide that Klaxon will pose as Washington's abusive father and Smitherston will pose as a groupie to protect the backstage area. Smitherston falls prey to the seductive lifestyle of a groupie, however, as soon as she is welcomed backstage by Bret Michaels, Ricky Rocket, and CeCe DeMille. Little does Smitherston know, however, that a bomb is waiting in Ricky's bass drum. Washington and Klaxon manage to get to the stage (killing the members of Poison in the process) and attempt to dismantle the bomb, but fail. Washington escapes via his jet pack, and hides himself on the underside of the hovering volcano, where King Terror is punishing Petra for another failed plan. Svetlana begs King Terror to allow her the chance to prove herself just as the computer notifies them that there is an intruder in the volcano. King Terror tells her she can prove herself by taking care of Abraham Washington Jr. once and for all. She meets him in a locker room and there is a brief standoff, but Washington plays on her insecurities and ultimately seduces her. Meanwhile, King Terror is attempting to escape his hectic day in a bath when Klaxon appears, revealing himself as a double agent. He fills King Terror in on what has occurred, and King Terror sends him to deal with Washington and Svetlana. Klaxon, along with half a dozen security guards, burst into the locker room, but Washington takes all of them out easily enough. Washington and Svetlana get to King Terror's grand bathroom, and demand he surrender himself. King Terror begs Washington to at least allow him the decency of putting on a robe before he turns himself in -- but his robe turns out to actually mask a jet pack. King Terror escapes the hovering volcano, which then sets to self destruct, but fortunately, Washington and Svetlana find two similar jet pack robes. They follow King Terror to his secondary hideout, a giant floating iceberg. King Terror seems to be cornered...until he pulls a trapdoor which Abraham Washington Jr. falls through to an unknown fate. The words ''To Be Continued'' close the movie.

cast & crew:

Directed by . . . Jason Chin
Abraham Washington Jr . . . Sean Kelley
Bret Michaels . . . Mike Carr
CeCe DeMille . . . Jorin Garguilo
Cow (front) . . . Kristen Studard
Cow (rear) . . . Colleen Breen
King Terror . . . Rob White
Klaxon . . . Michael Johnson
Peter . . . Colleen Breen
Petra . . . Amy Verdon
President of the United States . . . Mike Carr
Ricky Rocket . . . Colleen Breen
Secretary of Defense . . . Jorin Garguilo
Security Guard #1 . . . Amy Verdon
Security Guard #2 . . . Colleen Breen
Security Guard #3 . . . Kristen Studard
Security Guard #4 . . . Mike Carr
Smitherston . . . Kristen Studard
Svetlana . . . Mel Evans
Voice of TERROR Computer . . . Jorin Garguilo


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  • King Terror's Floating Volcano HQ actually is set to destruct if the King is ever NOT on the base. Come to think about it, that's a pretty bad design flaw.
  • Although Mike Carr rehearsed with Our Feature Presentation prior to the show going up, he moved to Florida to work at Disney immediately before the first show, so Ducks on a Boat is his OFP debut as a special guest.

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