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Hillbillies on Ice (09/21/2007)

released: Sep 21, 2007

description: Deep in the backwoods in a ramshackle shed, Heathcliff Jenkins informs his friend Zeke that he intends to marry Zeke's sister, Carrie Ann. Meanwhile, Carrie Ann practices with her women's ice hockey team, the pride of the town. Carrie Ann accidentally hits Sue Ellen with her stick, and Sue Ellen skates off to collect herself. Alone on the ice with Coach Mildred Vines, Carrie Ann wonders why the coach never married. Coach Vines attests that she is a self-sufficient woman.

Suddenly, the ice cracks beneath Carrie Ann, and she falls into the freezing waters. Coach Vines thinks fast and pulls Carrie Ann out with her hockey stick. When she is finally safe, the coach holds Carrie Ann to comfort and warm her. Sue Ellen returns to the pond in time to see this, confuses the embrace for a more intimate one, and runs to inform Heathcliff of his future wife's indiscretions. Soon, the whole town is abuzz with new of the coach seducing one of the hockey players.

Heathcliff turns his back on Carrie Ann, the townspeople shun Coach Vines, and women's hockey is banned with a ceremonial bonfire of all the hockey equipment. Coach Vines watches the fire from the top of a hill, and returns to her lonely studio shack. Her misery is soon interrupted by the arrival of Marlena, a vaguely Eastern European women's hockey star. She says that Coach Vines is famous where she comes from, and she would like her to coach her. The coach ir refusing, citing her current woes, when she is again interrupted by the arrival of a stranger – this time Side Sip Pete Bottoms, who introduces himself as a yokel lawyer. He says he has heard of the troubles the town is facing, and can think of only one solution – a hockey game where upon the winner is right. The coach and Marlena are sold on the idea, and begin advertising.

When Zeke and Heathcliff catch wind of the hockey game, they decide they will play against the coach to prove their point. They begin to train, and grow closer and closer in the process. Meanwhile, Marlena and Coach Vines train. In the midst of their spectacular exercises, Marlena falls through the ice. Carrie Ann happens upon the scene as the coach is attempting rescue and aids in the effort. Again, Sue Ellen sees and misinterprets the actions and embraces, and runs to tell Zeke and Heathcliff. There, she also blurts out that the coach is training with a foreigner, and the men run to the other pond to see this secret weapon.


Zeke, Heathcliff, and Sue Ellen find the three women in a compromising position, and a heated argument ensues just as Side Sip Pete Bottoms drives up on his dog sled. He observes that they seem to be ready for the hockey game and calls for it to commence immediately. A furious games begins, with coach's team pulling ahead by one point at the beginning of the first third. The next two thirds fly by, and as the clock ticks down in the final seconds, there is a tie. Suddenly, the ice cracks enormously and all six of the players fall. Side Sip Pete Bottoms tries to drag them all out with his dog team, but they soon find they cannot completely free themselves without helping each other – and that involves some touches that could be misconstrued as something else.

Finally, they all emerge from the water, and Side Sip Pete Bottoms announces the time has run out while there is still a tie – and this means that everyone wins, and therefore gets to maintain their own individual beliefs.

At the winter dance, while Marlena and Coach Vines share an openly close dance, Heathcliff and Zeke apologize to Carrie Ann. Heathcliff and Carrie Ann reconcile, and everyone gathers again on the ice for a different celebration – their wedding.

cast & crew:

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trivia:

• Mel's character of Sue Ellen was inspired by a combination of Nellie Olson and Abigail Williams.

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