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revolver journal » Blog Archive » Real Toys

Real Toys

by jorin



As the action figure generation hits the age where everyone has a decent job, and maybe not a real direction for spending income, the collectible and specialized toy market blossoms. And winds up producing some pretty weird stuff.

  1. jorin Says:

    The Big Lebowski Urban Achiever 8-inch Action Figure Set

    The fan base keeps exploding for The Big Lebowski, and that means lots of books, apparel, and collectible gew-gaws. So now action figures are on the way.

    It’s my favorite movie, so I have to admit, I already have mine pre-ordered.

    And these two are marked as Series 1, so I can only imagine that Jesus and Maude and the Big Lebowski and Brant are on the way … exciting stuff, and quite a money hole for this kid.

  2. jorin Says:

    24 — Adorable!

    This is a special one for Rob — there seems to have been kind of an explosion lately of these Minimate figures. They’re adorable vaguely LEGO-like figures that stand about 2" or 3" tall, and there are tons of them out there, for all kinds of stuff. I have four standing around my computer of some of my favorite more obscure DC comics characters (Blue Beetle, Booster Gold, Deadman, and the Spectre).

    But they’ve branched out way past comic books, and here are the sets for the first two seasons of 24. The Jack Bauer from Season 2 is especially funny too me. It looks like he got shot in the face with a shotgun loaded with hair. Still, too cute.

  3. jorin Says:

    Could They Come Up with a Theme Song for Themselves as Good as GI Joe’s?

    It’s the top-selling Jon Bon Jovi and slightly less top-selling Richie Sambora action figures!

    I love the idea of these guys taking on Cobra Commander or Megatron in one of those old TV commercial sets with a kid in some kind of awesome backyard sand and rock and wood action set up.

    JBJ — "Don’t you Lay Your Hands on Me, evildoer!"

    RS — "I have 18 strings at my disposal!"

  4. jorin Says:

    What Says High-Flying Space Adventure like the Art of Tromboning?

    So maybe the character that this is makes this figure make a lot more sense than it does to me just looking at it … but it does strike me as ridiculous (-ly great) that he’s off on a uniformed space adventure with his trusty trombone. That says ample derring-do to me …

  5. jorin Says:

    The Big August Round-up

    Here’s a cavalcade of odd toys to finish out the month …

    Dawn of the Dead Hare Krishna Zombie

    He comes with a tambourine! Wow. I’m guessing not a super pivotal character, but I don’t recall ever seeing the movie either …

    My Little Cthulhu and Little Victims

    It’s an adorable horror from beyond space — and a bunch of little Little People-like figures to be destroyed and en-maddened by him.

    The Nightmare Before Christmas: 2007 Salt and Pepper Shakers


    The Nightmare Before Christmas would be hard-pressed to reach higher levels of product exploitation, but here’s a gem — salt and pepper shakers styled after the main characters. The most notable thing, though, is that these are the 2007 versions — there were entirely DIFFERENT models of salt and pepper shakers for the movie for 2006. And that is not a joke.

    Doctor Who Cyberman Voice Changer

    My favorite of this batch — it’s a robot helmet you put on your head, and it changes your voice and emits sound effects. Nothing like limiting your vision, ability to turn your neck, and reputation by putting a hot hunk of battery-powered plastic on your face. And changing your voice so it sounds like you’re a talking Casio keyboard. I love this, and would wear it around my family at Christmas.

  6. jorin Says:

    I Guess No One Would Expect You to Hide Cash in Something So Crappy

    The fact that it doesn’t have to move around makes this Sleestak a lot more menacing than the ones from the tv show (Land of the Lost for the far too young). I’m not sure where the coin slot is, or how much you can really fit in this guy considering his narrow body column, so his effectiveness as a bank is probably commensurate to the effectiveness as a terrifying entity from the show too.

  7. jorin Says:

    The Big Fall Round-up

    Christmas is just around the corner — and what better gift for your dad than –


    The 300 Shorts Replica

    Tasty!

    How do you accessorize something like that, though — perhaps with

    the Texas Chainsaw Massacre Replica Chainsaw

    I’m sure they would look great together.

    But enough apparel and accessories — check out some of this other stuff:

    the Axis of Evil 5 Figure Set

    They look like they’d perfectly complement those figures from 24 up above on the page. Have Jack Bauer have a punch out with Kim Jong-Il! Sweet!

    Mayhaps that’s not your cup of tea though — so I’ll tail off with something everyone can enjoy:

    It’s the
    Barbie 1970s Cher Doll
    !

    Check out that headdress!

    But maybe you’re the type of gentleman or lady that prefers to remember Cher as someone that loves to entertain sailors –

    the
    Barbie 1980s Cher Doll
    is also available!

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